D-Wayne's Reve: the Opry

I want a Don and Phil do. D-Wayne's on cue.
Curl me to the crank and shank. Reach up my tail pipe
And yank out my Acuff soul (stole by Musac and
Twisted by Metallica into a spin-cycle neck.)

More greasy, slick. I'm a tadpole turning T-Bone,
Yearnin' to crank up the slide and steel
Til my barnyard blossoms
Glitter glow and that holy red barn backdrop says:

Gabriel, shake ya' booty: D-Wayne
Has hit the Opry Show. Gonna wow
The wizzened widows and the tatter
Nibbling country kidders with his vocalizing know how.

Drugs, huh? Ooh, snakes coming out of my head.
Ups and downs? My heart kick starts at the wind.
The King (as an overweight ghoul) speaks: Fool! Keep your day job
At Bi-Lo. The road unravelled's got:

Agent's like octupi, daddy's with attorney-filed teeth,
And an agenda of pudenda to punish you cause you had the gall
To go and suck air. Second thoughts pick-axing my brain.
I gotsto rethink the glittery life in the lights of the big rink.

Yes mam, that putty knife's three ninety-five, like the sign
Says, and might I point out for you that here at Bi-LO
WE do stay open EVERY night til nine.

* Lance Levens holds a B.A. from Emory University and an M.A. from the University of Georgia.