days I'm like a bad debt.
My eyes are zeroes added to last year's
which was already substantial.
Grey hairs implode all over my head.
There's no more kidding myself about being
I should write myself off before it's too
I'm sitting out my son's umpteenth baseball
game of the season.
For some reason, I have parked my collapsible
chair right beside the fence beside the
You're in the hole now, Jackson, the
You're in the hole now, Garrett.
You're in the hole now, Liam.
It's kind of interesting to be privy
to how the kids psych themselves to be up
One snaps his bubblegum.
Another twists his face into a bellows in
concentration and blows out a few hot puffs
Another scratches his behind.
All of them take a few swings, for the heck
of it, at an invisible ball.
Wake up, Dominic, the other coach
to a fat kid in the outfield.
Suddenly I have an urgent personal need
to stare down the monstrosity of the pitching
I've got to stand there with all eyes riveted
I've got to experience the twitching of
the bright star in the muscles of my batting
Most of all, I've got to be afraid--glissons
of fear tingling up and down my spine--
that the ball's gonna hit me in the eye
because to be that afraid is to be REALLY
week, at the beginning
of the financial planning seminar, the expert
stared right at me: As for those of
she joked, who will be paying for your kids
to go to college
in the ten years just before you retire,
you'd better leave now. There's really
no hope for you.
Somebody finally hits the ball. The poor
who gets to the ball first almost
gets ignominiously crushed to death.
What a pigpile in the outfield!
That's what I love about this team.
Nobody, absolutely nobody, can field.
I look up in the late afternoon sky to see
a sliver of moon.
somebody in the crowd flatters a kid
who didn't dare swing after missing two
perfectly good pitches in a row.
My son rushes out of the dugout for a drink.
He slurps up all the rest of the water.
Before he goes out to the field, he gives
me a bone-crushing hug.
I feel like I've just won a million dollars.
But how am I going to pay for him to go
I don't know.
I'm still batting zero on that one.